this will be my second blog for the day. not that i free but somehowno mood in working so come here to relax and vent things out wahaha...

just now my manager gave me a performance form and ask me to fill it up, says it is for my confirmation and from my colleague say this is also to determined that if i am able to get the bonus in april. but the times is still long, still got nearly 5 months to go before the bonus and i not sure if i am able to cope with it. my probation ends in jan 07, which means even pay increase, i have to wait till feb which is three months later and i dun think i can last so long, so i ask some of my frens, including lecturer.

the lecturer ask me to follow my heart to make the choice, if i were to do it i will chose to quit, but i haven find a job, somemore now end of the year le hard to find a job hai.

frens some told me, not happy then dun work there what for force urself to do it; others say just work a bit longer and wait till you got the increment and the bonus then leave. this is good as got money to push you thru the months, but how long can the money push? not as if it is 2k or wat for the increment to push you thru. hai i think at most only plus $100 so if i guess correctly then will i still stay? hai another thing is that my resume will not be nice with the library executive cos one is not office , two i not going to work in library anymore, three like kind of wastetime working here without learning any new thing. hai headach. all blame to me.

if times can turn back, i wanna change a lot of things really. i want to study hard for my o'level, after O's find a good job and learn japanese, driving learn early too, score well for my poly results, and planned well for my time to do all things and go exercise. Who knows by that time, i may even be taking jap JLPT Level 2 and even driving on the road and even slimmer than now hai. all is just dream hai....

everything (including nightmare) is just the beginning....