harlow, back again and i have broke the ice between dear and me lah. so now is ok as usual. as those who knows me well, sure know i keep quarrelling with him. siao one lah for both of us. perhaps i'm a loner, needs people to pei me loh. haha.

just hear from one of my jap fren saying that the jap teacher jumping to another company, she say now that she know, think i haven sign out, wanted to ask me to jump there too since it is quite near to where i am studying now. (still in orchard). i told my fren, if we cant take what we learn here, then when we intend to proceed to another level, we jump there and she was laughing haha. she is really a great teacher but maybe is the course itself too rush and she dun like it. i also have a hard time absorbing as it is not the same as in the poly one. hai. so still trying my best.

not happy with my ele 1 result cos i last min now learn lesson le, have to really study hard, got motivated by en, so must study as hard as she is. to be frank, she really motivate me to study in poly that's why i can score good. haha thanks, en.

going to change my skin soon but need advice from those who view my blog, which skin is nicer?

this is no 1

this is no. 2

this is no. 3

this is no 4

this is no 5

this is no 6

help me see which is nice ok? thanks

siging out...

today is the third day of cold war with dear. just dunno what have happen to us. hai. he just dun bother to call just msg me when he is going to sleep only. i really dunno what he wants nor do. he just seems to do nothing about it and expect the problems to go away by itself. it's just a selfish and irresponsible thing to do it and that is wat i hate about him the most. hai...

today late for work, think i am the boldest to do that. haha. haven hear anything about my lateness but sure will get it later. really feel very pissed nowadays. with relationship, work to worry about, my japanese i have to worry too for i cant find a good timeslot for my next commencement hai sian...

going to act busy and do things or else i will have a parrot for the whole of today nagging at me. hai...

this will be my second blog for the day. not that i free but somehowno mood in working so come here to relax and vent things out wahaha...

just now my manager gave me a performance form and ask me to fill it up, says it is for my confirmation and from my colleague say this is also to determined that if i am able to get the bonus in april. but the times is still long, still got nearly 5 months to go before the bonus and i not sure if i am able to cope with it. my probation ends in jan 07, which means even pay increase, i have to wait till feb which is three months later and i dun think i can last so long, so i ask some of my frens, including lecturer.

the lecturer ask me to follow my heart to make the choice, if i were to do it i will chose to quit, but i haven find a job, somemore now end of the year le hard to find a job hai.

frens some told me, not happy then dun work there what for force urself to do it; others say just work a bit longer and wait till you got the increment and the bonus then leave. this is good as got money to push you thru the months, but how long can the money push? not as if it is 2k or wat for the increment to push you thru. hai i think at most only plus $100 so if i guess correctly then will i still stay? hai another thing is that my resume will not be nice with the library executive cos one is not office , two i not going to work in library anymore, three like kind of wastetime working here without learning any new thing. hai headach. all blame to me.

if times can turn back, i wanna change a lot of things really. i want to study hard for my o'level, after O's find a good job and learn japanese, driving learn early too, score well for my poly results, and planned well for my time to do all things and go exercise. Who knows by that time, i may even be taking jap JLPT Level 2 and even driving on the road and even slimmer than now hai. all is just dream hai....

everything (including nightmare) is just the beginning....

i really cant take it anymore but wat can i do? have to work damn sian. me and 1 of the colleagues cant take it anymore. she is so unreasonable and unbearable. as long as is library thing everything push to me. wat else can she do... hai i really hope that i will resign now so that i dun need to do audit and got shot by her again. she just thought everything is so easy to be done, might as well you do it urself before concluding then. hai

maybe is she tends to compare me and the ex librarian as she is very experience and when she leave, they even order a buffet for her as farewell, see that is how she means to her. i dun think is becos of she work here long but the fact they like wat she do. please lah, dun compare me with others. others may be good at some strength and i may be good at some too. just dun use becos of the same job to measure. like apple and oranges are fruits but why cant you use apple to compare with oranges, same logic ma hai.

getting pissed every single day when that is work. hai really want to quit!!!! people bonus in DEC but we bonus in APRIL. What the HELL. hai so if want me to wait for that might as well i quit. still have to put up face with her and tolerate her nonsense, still say that listen to suggestions. dun bluff lah.

i dun like this job, dun like the environment, dun like the people, dun feel part of the company, dun feel the importance in this company, but more to a anger ventalitor machine. so you expect me to stay loyal, wait long long...

she only know how to say me when students complaint. please lah also see situation ma, she ah, people complaint about library computer slow, tell her about becos of the ram only 128 how to go fast? then she say is still ok with her. i was like, wat the hell, of cos student compare with their house computer slow then complain ma, no brain. still want me to put good mouth to them. wtf. all she scare is student complain then the higher position ask her then now she push all blames to us the lower than her one. sad right, well that is the fact of life. REALITY!!!! WELCOME !!!

i never felt so demoralised before even before my previous companies. make mistakes, they wll help you to cover and prevent it to happen again, tell you that is ok, just do it again. but here, no loh. seems like once you make mistake you are condemn. ask you all lah, if make mistake at least say nice nice lah, but no loh she just want to blame you and piss you off. ask her things that you dunno, she ask you to find out yourself. then wat for i ask you if i know how to find. stupid right. this kind of manager i rather scak her then she fired me. for this i rather earn 1 month less then having her stepping on my tail and keep harping things on me. wait till i vent everything out then you know 老虎不发威当我是病猫. this phrase le. hai

still need to work. i hate it!!!!!

i pass my elementary test for japanese le. however i have to proceed on and i wont be getting the teacher that taught me in ele 1 cos the schedule is not nice hai =( but no matter wat, i am going to continue to study to fuifill what i want in my goal. haha

friday meet up with my 13 years best friend and her ex and sister to go kbox. at first was only me, her and her ex, but her sis came along so no choice. went to the new kbox in amk, but their songs not very updated and the staff is not knowledgable about their things, even the in-charge. waste about 10 mins at the counter and rushes us out at exactly 10pm. what the hell. cant even let us sing a bit more hai... sian. my fren's sis sing like nobody 's business, at one go key in 10 + songs for herself and all same singer like jolin anf FIR. hai... but a good gathering for me and my fren as we walked home together chatted alot. we are those who hardly meet but know what's each other is thinking and alot of thing to talk about. nice chatting with her.

last nite went to PS with dear, watch a movie and have whole spread of chicken dishes for dinner, feel like we are carnivores haha. we went to watch "just friends" which is a romantic comedy, kind of like " Along came Polly" but is nice, quite funny and lame haha. then we went to thai express for dinner, he order a thai laska with chicken and potato while i order a yellow curry with rice, order a chicken broth and a popiah. later when came, turn out out of 4 dishes we ordered, 3 dish have chicken and two with potato... -_-'' have kind of a hard time eating it...

then went to careffour(dunno speel correct ma) and i saw a hippo cushion and dear buy for me. 1 more added to my collection. perhaps one days must take phtos of all hippo i have and post it.haha then became hippo world!!!

last nite bught a pizza and just now just have pizza too haha. my younger sis treat us and my aunt cos her b'day coming then got some hong bao le haha. kind of relaxed after the test but when i think of i have to work tomolo, i very the sian. really want to quit cos the environment is very the not good and the people as well hai. but my mum suggest me finding a job before jumping to another company, and she say it's end of the year le, most company will be giving bonus le so no one will resign nor recruit. hai

think still have to bear with it le.

one week never blog le and i feel kind of exhausted nowadays. intending to look for a new job. i hate my current one, really. it's sux, stupid and nothing to learn. really regret taking this jobs up in the first place. ANybody with job lobang tell me lei!

i seriously cant stay here anymore. like du ri ru nian. hai... today the manager still tell me one thing that i was so fed up with but wat can i do. just find her know how to say only but is not feasible nor realistic. she ask me to sit by the door and become a "security guard". not that i despise security job, but i'm employed as an executive not that lah. the company jusy too stingy le. next year budget cant bring forward ah. they jus dun understand one. they think i can split myself into twos or threes to watch the whole library ah.

damn pissed with them and i still have to bear with it if i wan to quit cos one month notice. hai.
why this kind of thing always happen to me. lousy work. hai. really waiting for them to sack me off and everything will be just ok. really wish.

my japanese is coming and at tomolo but i have yet to finish up studying for it. too much to learn yet little time. i think i have myself to blame with. spend so much of time to slack around and study last min. really kind of scare what will happen if i study my degree course hai....

i'm back after a day break. today is a quiet day cos morning there is no class and no one is able to disturb or distrupt me. boss went on holiday add on to the quietness i longed for. my boss's voice to me was a noise, even though she may not talk to me but whenever she was talking to other colleague and i can hear her, it pissed me off. hai.

kind of good today as i am able to finish what i wanted to finish for a long time. hope that i will be able to be guai these days and faster get my things done submit to her and boss won't pester me anymore. but i'm scare, the faster i do, the more thing she will ask me too. hai how?i just dunno just what is the right approach to tackle this problem. guess next month i'll burying my head in the stock-taking. i feel that the books again had feets and ran off le. hai. this time boss say it will be my responsibility for the loss books. i want to protest!!! i have told her dozen of times that the library need a security system to 1 - track books, 2 - act as security and 3 - help out in the procedures of borrowing, returning books. cos the current system is not good at all. cant track which books missing, no picture of the books, so even missing i also dunno for i may never ever seen the book before, you'll never know.

feel like quiting but i scare i wont be able to find a job that i want and long for plus i going to study next year and some company may not want me at all due to that problem. hai. my head is cracking out soon..

anybody can help me??? hai btw i'm having my japanese test next week hope that i can passed and proceed to the next level!

sudden have a wishlist in my head: 1- pass jap test, 2-pass driving, 3- go for a holiday, 4- earn more money and spend less, 5- give myself a long long break!, 6- have dear to accompany more and go to places we never been. haha

tooo greedy le... wahaha... save money first...

haven been blogging for a long time but all i have are bad news for you all. i have failed my driving again and all thanks to a just learning motorcyclist and a tester that forced me to do the very 'incredible' things when in fact i should'nt have done it at all. i guess my failure has been repeated by myself to over 30 ++ people and i dun wish to say it again so dun ask ok? i'll be taking again in feb 07. hope that time really can passed. sick of waiting. i can even tell you that i took only 5 months to learn everything but i took 10 months to take my test (cos each interval from first test to another is about 3 months, so i now not only wasting my time for the test to come, i'm also waiting for my money to be waste. hai. why all these things have to happen to me????

I took nearly a week off for the test and when i come back to work, i thought that the trip to Phuket will be proceed as per normal but i hear a bad news, they are cancelling the trip due to unable to book tickets. i was like wah lao, i really must salute them. last min buy tickets think got meh, use backside think also know what, you 1 month before the trip to book tickets, chances of buying it i feel is less than 50% le, you still last min buy. hai. really no brain. think that only you are the only company going to holiday ah. For ur info, Secondary school already having holidays and next week i think, primary sch also having holidays too, parents have already book tickets le, wait for you meh. in the end, they have a stupid gathering session and a buffet at an itatlian restaurant and they think that is already ok le. hai... by the way, i didnt even went for the buffet.

alot of unhappy things dunno why happen to me and my family. first is i fail test, next is my parents' holiday trip end early due to my mum have a fall and got 3 stitches on the back of her head. hai dunno what's going to happen. i can just say this year is not for me. hai...

met up with an ex colleague from renn thai and went out to orchard with him. he seems very moody and hagged after the breaking up with his gf. hai. feel sad for him and i cant do anything to help him. just only able to lend ear to him. i think is a huge impact for him as his ex like someone else and lie to him. how can she do this to him? after all they have been together for 3 years. i know that long distance relationship is hard to maintain but my fren is trying his best hai. (they are from malaysiaand my fren is workin here. hai just hope that he pull himself up. dunno i just feel that the thing he do now is to make his ex realise that he got everything that she wan him to have like having a car, laptop and he intend to buy a house next year. hai. he dun even have money and he is so ambitious about it. if i didnt tell you he is just 21 this year. hai

i feel that he is using all these goals to make him busy and to prove that he can have all these when he wanted it. but i scare he may overwork himself hai.... hope he take care.

need to work le hai... got any lobang for jobs tell me, i wanted to switch jobs!