long time never post le... been busy and lazy all this while haha.

busy with the usual stuff, work, studies, earning money and all tat.
looking back, this year has been a tough year and to think that just less than one week more will be yr 2009. hai so much has happened and all seems to be gone in just a flash.

year after year, people say will make resolutions for the new year, so do i. but the percentage of keeping to the resolution is not alway easy and as i can think of, i have failed my past resolutions =(

so this year for the new year, maybe not making any resolution will be better even though we may have things in mind and hope to accomplish it hence, we shall wait and see, just like a quote: ' somethings are left to be unsaid...' wahaha.

guess the last few days for the year will be a tough week as i have to do up my project synopsis which is 20 credit module and i have to keep up with the remaining 2 modules in order to graduate, but they are tough as it seems. it is a mixture of everything we learnt and kind of like in accounting term and the other is financial term (which i am not very good at =( ) but will try my best to give it my best! hence wish me luck! hehe.

Just a quick update what i have been doing during my absence hehe:
- exams and tons of stress
- work (during the day in clinic like fighting a war)
- earning money that is never enough
- online shoppin for the 1st time (yah i am very outdated for online shopping had been popular dunno since how many years ago, wahaha)
- mum went to taiwan and i have to manage the house.
- resting but never seems to be enough
- 2 weeks break from sch
- JLPT 3 exam (again not prepare but who cares =p)

Update on this week:
- went for chalet at dar's family gathering (at SAF seaview chalets, so isolated)
- got tease by them hai
- dar got sick and i took care of him hehe =)
- got promoted to biao sao hai dunno happy or what
- bbq for dinner =)

for the full story ask me, as i am too lazy to talk about it but is definitely something happy for me as i got the recognition from his family, and interaction with his cousins not been neglected.

hehe just happy to getaway from stress!

Bad day today...

I wonder if i recently stepped on dog shit or what, things have not gone well this 2 weeks. let's say today, i was late for class (only recently) and then i got caught by one of the school staff (who has got nothing better to do) who claimed that i did not dress properly for school. and guess what they caught me for, becos i wear Flip Flops to school. WTH! I alway think that those shoes with strips are considered sandals but why now classified so differently hai. Suai day to start with. Then right now i'm in office and i got say by my uncle hai. piss off. not that i cant let people say me (to certain extent i cant accept what people say) but then i just find it ridiculous, want me to do it his way and think fast as he is. hai. i dunno lah just not my day.

This past week can say my lowest peak of this year. Never feel like this before. hai. Problems after problems and dun seems to be ending hai. See what i have encountered recently.

1. Bought new phone (Samsung i780) then cant open the battery cover (now can, but cant close back -_-'')

2. Send phone for service within 1st week of use (but in the end change battery only, so not that serious)

3. Change mobile phone plan that time and now bill received in a big mess, call to complain and enquire = no use (they simply use pro-rated for everything)

4. Receive my last term result did not do well but passed so alright. hai disappointed results

5. Receive result slip from school for advanced diploma that i never took before and the result is fail. what the hell. then the funny thing is that they ask me to sit for supp paper on 20 Sept but the letter i received was on 26 Sept, what a joke man. -_-''(call to ask coordinator and get him to settle he say ok BUT

6. Receive another letter from school about the advance diploma, now say that i fail not 1 BUT 3 modules and have to re-sit for the exam or supp paper (whatever) piss me further.

7. Parents went for trip, use car and drive out to have meals with frens and then we split the cost equally despite they order alot of food and we only sample it also pay for it. -_-''

8. This whole week, weeknights all burnt!!! Damn tired... (Still got mock test on tues and i didnt even touch the book.

Just when is a good day or time coming my way lei... faster lei...

i'm waiting.....
dun take so long to come....

Chalet!

Went for chalet last weekend with poly mates and did not enjoy it at all. Though was looking forward but it turned out as a big disappointment hai, but nevertheless, manage to spend some time with dear. hehe. Everything backfired and me as the organiser was greatly fail in my task, not becos i never do well but is just that frens they all disappoint me. hai

Fri: went to chalet with dear after his class, and we took a cab down and it cost $30 wat the hell cos i went to fetch dear. hai. Reach there about 4pm and the room was damn hot and stuffy hai. went to switch on the aircon but all it gives was just wind and no air con at all. took almost 2 hours before the room was consider cool. hai Dinner at 8 plus while waiting for fren and turn out they came in late, hai then so call take turn for dinner haha. after they came back, dear and i went to watch Boys over flowers: final aka Hana Yori Dango finale. Cos cant manage to have good seats for mama-mia so no choice but guess it is a good choice. hehe. The movie is based on jap version which i never watch the drama but not bad quite nice hehe. first midnight show with dear, know that it may be common for some couples but for us this case is forever special due to our family background, but anyway was a great experience. After the show went back and play Big 2 with my fren (couple) they lose so badly that they say they want to strip off every piece of their clothes when they lose, but didnt haha. slept at 3am and wake at 11am.

Went for breakfast cum lunch with them, and then fren went for class, so alone with dear, went to ntuc to buy some food for the night bbq and then went back to sleep haha. we damn pigs for that day. after wake up went to book bbq pit and then went to have a stroll with dear. initially want to go to one of the event organized by the singapore sports council - the water fest at pasir ris but we cant seems to find it and continue walk till one hour plus hehe. Reach back chalet damn tired. haha. thought that my fren will come at 5 plus when they say they will but i'm wrong all came in around 7 plus and piss me off hai. dear and i have to start the fire and us been inexperienced, use the lousy fire starters and nearly finish the whole box wahaha.=) finally it manage to start but then hai... no need to further elaborate. hai

how i wish that there is an equipment that can record wat i say and convert to words so that i need not type it out haha. hope tat the invention will come to me soon. i'm becoming a lazy person hehe.

got 2 tutorial to do and yet to get started and i'm not sure if i'm getting too easily agitated nowadays or i feel that people are using me hai. wat a feeling. sian i hate people taking me for granted, but wat to do.

anyway i'm buying e71 to enjoy my $100 voucher that singtel have given me to retain me wahaha so little but better than nothing. want to buy omnia but than damn ex dunno why hai...

tata, 40 more min to my csi show =)

Slacking slacking

Haven been blogging almost for a month, recently alot of things happen like
- laptop got corrupted
- stop my jap course
- planning for chalet
- trying to catch up with schoolwork
- sign up new facial package
- looking for new phone
- not meeting dear for long time
- sick
- repair hp
- went for phonics class =)

haven been able to study though keep saying must but has ben busy almost everyday. is draining me badly and i have breakdown last night hai. after crying out feeling much better becos have been 'suffering' for almost 2 terms (= 6mths) with all work and no fun nor leisure tired me out thoroughly hai. wanting a well deserved holidays even for a single day will do.

hope that i will be able to relax and enjoy during the chalet at least better than nothing and i'm looking forward for it. guess that i have to adjust for exam mood soon if i dun want history before my exams to repeat itself hai. jia you bah.

have been watching alot of anime recently and the most favourite is itazura na kiss, so cute and nice and it makes me cry and feel so happy at the same time. hehe you all should watch it damn nice, i think better than the taiwan though i never really watch it cos i think they overdo the show le. haha.

been planning to look for phone to replace the current one as it has went cranky, hang tat time and cant open it waste $30 to repair and dunno is the sim card got problem or wat, message keep get corrupted or is wrong or old message sending as new, hard to explain ah. anyway got few phones in mind but not all match my budget =( so sad.

they are : nokia e71, e66, htc touch dual, touch diamond, touch pro(in love with it but look guyish and bulky) and also samsung omnia. hehe like i say i just sign facial package haven finish paying means tat i am running low in my finances and phone i getting may need to be budget too. so contradicting sia.... hai

went for a phonics workshop organised by the bookshop i'm working in and i tell you man, you must really pei fu those teaching phonics as it is so hard to teach or should i say tat i have no clue at all on wat the speaker is talking about and i think i got lost 85% during the class keep having the -_-'' look and speaker keep asking me things tat i dun even know seems like embarrassing me hai. still got 4 more classes to go but i think i will be missing one due to chalet and left 3 more hope i wont get lost inside haha.

tonight went out for dinner with family, long time never do tat le and the best thing is tat i mange to drive =) however it was raining so visibility a bit poor and i have been driving a bit fast and got scolded by dad =(

dad is strict in his own way when it comes to driving, will scold you for the slightest thing but it seems reasonable after all so cant argued with him since he has been driving for so long and is his car. =( but nonetheless, i am happy to drive the car hehe. my average driving of the car is almost like less than 3-5 times in 3 months, tat's long and i am glad that i have not gotten very rusty and at the same time my parking has been improving each time hehe.

*PS: alw need a few time to park a vertical parking but now is about 1-2 times so is improving and my mum was shocked too since i hardly drive =)

so proud of myself =)

need to iron, watch anime and do work now. jia you then.

tata

23.08.08

Tomolo is supposed to be a special day for me and dear but i dun think so now as we have quarrelled this morning and have been on 'cold war' since then. to think that i specially take a off from my work and thought will be celebrating with him but forget it.... just thinking and talking about it piss me off. Hai.

anyway, i didnt realise that i have been looking at ppl's blog for more than one hour plus, really what a way to waste my time =x

need to be reading up and studying what i have been studying for the past 2 weeks, yes it has been already 2 weeks but what i have learn in this 2 weeks seems like more than what i learn usually in the past -_-''

have to start to buck up and have more time for my studies as all lecturers have alerted and warned us not just once but alot of time that year 3 that wont be a supp paper for any module. fail means fail. wth... hai have to buck up.

sometimes i use to think if i really getting useless and helpless about my studies. i'm not llike what i used to be in the past, will study and will not fail or even think of deferring from exam but it seems like i'm getting the idea that i'm not cut to be student hai. pressure is piling up and it's so hard to get rid. results have proven what it takes. and i wonder why though some feel tat i study more or got the study look will fail modeul when those who dun seems or like to study never fail at all. though they may pass but is still a pass but my result fail is alw a FAIL! hai

dun feel like blogging at all... how i wish there is a device where they can record what you say and translate it into words without the need to type =p

tata

going to watch my itzura na kiss and do my project and after that is ds time! yipiee!

*ps i was damn piss that i got my game overwrite by an old data.
wth -_-''

3rd day of the new term...

Today just had my 3rd lesson for my yr 3 term 2 and guess what, it seems like i am in either a seminar or likely in a research class as the module(about international biz) become so professional and so real in that sense that what my lecturer is so history and happen in now in the current situation. hehe. and i must pei fu him as he can remenber his fact and figures so clearly (wonder if it is true hehe) but he seem so knowledgable and makes me so knowledgableafter his class and also make me feels so stress as i have to prepare alot for this module and know the current happenings well as wat lect says was it is tested on the current affairs. hai. sian sian stress....

Since the start of school i have been spending $$ le, bought an international bk for $65.50, need to pay for my phone bill nearly $100 and i dunno why so expensive sob sob. still have to spend money for chalets all that. really money not enough!!! ( though i haven watch it yet =( )

have been very tired and lethagic since the start of sch and i guesss i will feel better i hope so....
came back from work just, dunno why today so many patients and it drag till 9.30 pm =( cant rest early. now damn tired but i have to go bath and do my jap hw to submit tml sobs sobs ....

want to zzz.....
but how to.....
help me........

1 month later....

I guess i have missed my jlpt class for a month (4 lessons) and to think that i have spent a bomb on it but wat i learn there are disappointing, is just worksheets and practices and going thru at the end of the day. i dunno how effective it is and how well i can make it thru this yr jlpt. going to register with my jap fren tml though i can register from sch but i scare that they will know how much u score and grade u so hence, change my mind hehe. play safe. i scare i cant make it to it again which i hope not as i dun want the $ and the time spent on it go down to the drain hence must jia you. what's more the exam is after my uni exam in late nov and i wonder how am i going to cope again hai. have to start now i guess. no matter how not-motivated i am have to try then... sob sob.

cant even have a good rest during my break and not only got to work but the period has come to pay me a visit. wth make me so sick for the first few days hai.

now slacking, dun feel like going to work later as i haven finish my hw. alw drag to last min and have no mood in doin hai sian....

p.s. i can go to sch last wk but i pon cos haven finish hw. wat a lame execuse.... shhh....

DS on the way... yippie!

Left about 5 more days to starting on school hai haven been enjoying yet have to start school soon sob sob =(

Redang trip is cancelled and we have change to 3 days 2 nites instead as andy and gf for some reason not going, then my bf cant go and hear from boon that the season may have monsoon hence cancelled and change to chalet instead. Though still in spore, but just hope tat it canbe enjoyable after all i feel that the thing is that we get to be together and enjoy our times! Having not been able to meet up alw hence it would be a good time to get together and enjoy! Looking forward to it!

Has been delaying on buying DS since before exam till now. Initially thought of not buying cos over a certain time was crazy over it but it die off, but the interest to it came back after a month later and then have been trying to get hold on it. initially strike a deal on last sat with my fren's god bro but it backfired as he say tat he is unable to provide a good deal for me and hence i have to source other. finally, just confirm my order via a blog and will be collecting soon =) happy!

It costs me about 300 i guess (including warranty and casing) and it is bought by someone for me. hehe. Though it is not the color that i initially wanted ( light blue) but i have chosen metallic rose which i feel that i will grow to love the color and at most i replace it with the casing that i want hehe. guess will be collecting tomorrow or thurs, hopefully the earlier the better.

I know that it is not a big deal to own DS or PSP now cos it has been in the market for a long time, but to me it has a special meaning to me and it is so far the thing that i yearn so much. I dun usually have such yearn for stuff as brands or things to me is either have it or dun. haha....

hence looking forward for it!!!
=)

Gone with the wind

Exams are officially OVER!!!
EC, USM, ASM and HRM all be gone...
Gone with the wind, hope when the time u fly back, it will be with flying colors (i hope so)

Talk abt last paper, never sleep the whole night of mon (28/7/08) just to stay up and finish writing and reading thru HRM, Being slacking for the weekend and thus unable to study hai or should i say, motivation has long gone holidays and not coming back to stay hehe.

i know very cranky but sometime too many things to write, but writing out is another thing.

Just a short overview of last week,
Mon - EC
Wed - USM & work
Fri - ASM (spent a long time to complete it, wth)
Sat - Slack whole day, watch anime after anime. I love itazura na kiss and special A. how?
Sun - Pon jap class to go to Callen's first month (he is sooooo cute and chubby!!! loves to see babies)

All exams driving me nuts term by term, getting worse and worse, need medication to calm me down and i think it wont be long that i'll be invited to MH for check up, check if i am too cranky during the exams, suffering from depression, too crazy over in need of $$$. Anyone who know anyone that can help me, let me know.

Holidays are here to stay, but i dun think i can enjoy it need to work... sob sob. (no $$$, do nth) only can work n work n work nth else.

Today after HRM, went to dar dar's house for a home-make lunch, he cooks all by himself (though all are almost instant made, just need to heat up/ cook it but he done a great job, quite nice. Oh by the way, we had fish n chips for lunch, with a bowl of campbell's chicken soup and gardenia's garlic bread. Look out for the pictures as dar has taken pictures as memory of the first time cooking for gf. hehe so xinfu!!!

Later we went to P.S for dinner, wanted to watch movie but have to go home early, need to get stuff from jap fren and wanted to watch CSI cos miss 2 episodes the previous weeks due to exam, but guess wat, my effort are down to the drain, instead ch 5 is showing the Mon's match between Singapore and Brazil. Make me 空欢喜一场. 我的妈啊...

now loading and watchin anime though i am dead tired cos i dunno wat to do other than anime hehe, my favorite. tata then

p.s. i love ur lunch =)

2 more to go...'bad' student.

Leave 2 more papers to go. Tomolo need to submit the report. finally!!!!
It has been dragging me for a very long time and have affect my 2 previous sob sob.
The previous 2 papers have been tough... Everytime study the number of question but always not all came out, only one came out and nothing. The others are those that i have read thru only sob sob.

Leave HRM only and i hope that i can do well for that paper as the previous two all i hope was pass.... justhope that this wish will come thru.... hai....

There has not been anything recently. hai, all that i can say is that i pon class pon alot that i have become a 'bad' student. hehe.

Left one more paper to go and i can be free and relax. dunno wat i will be doing during holidays but then i may need to work everyday after holidays. so ma fun hai cant even rest a while sob sob.

I'm not the gal who is poor, no time for myself and damn busy. sob sob...
I want my freedom!!!
I need $$$$

hehe
=p

*PS. need to rush for project and finish it!!!!

Busy weekend; 8 days to 1st exam

Mum decided to cook today so help her and in the end, no works has been done on my side =(

morning: went to help mum carried stuff back from marketing and left it the way it is as mum has to go out for a while, so eat breakfast while watching Pokemon, hehe. after that study a bit and she came home.

afternoon: no lunch and help her to pluck vegetables. yes pluck them away from the stems. and do other misc stuff till 3 plus. rest a while then help her with the cooking, can say that the food is nice and delicious and i'm still very bloated (had dinner at 6pm).

feeling contented... =)

now: intend to do up my e-commerce so that can send to my grp mates as they have already sent their part to me, so have to edit a bit and send to them. after tat hope to finish up ASM, at least have a body for the parts i haven touch yet, at least look i really finish but need editing.

Telling myself not to slack but it seems the case never happen. and tomorrow and mon will be packed as well, help me!

1 more week till first paper. not to say haven send to sir for clarification if i'm on the right track. hai. haven finish reading thru, studyin thru, writin thru and not to say memorise and understand what is needed for me to do hai....

sian sian sian....
die die die.....
save save save me!!!!

ps. tomorrow got work at clinic (1st time working longer hours dunno can cope or not; and if can wake up ma and after that got jap class. hai), mon - work cos mid of the month, to help with billing and clinic in the night. cant really skip clinic hai.

Random thoughts

I wonder why people get so sensitivce and insecure when others just send their greetings to them? is it a wrong thing to do? why i have those treatment. Word of concern seems so wrong that you have to avoid? Just what is wrong. Perhaps i have become insensitive and my words become too blunt for people to accepts? I wonder....

Left 2 weeks till first paper have yet to done anything though previous post state what is to be done hai. But 事事都不如意， WHY????

难道要先苦后甜吗？没别的办法了吗？
需要一点希望来克服眼前的问题，好让一切回复原状。
救救我吧！！！

Anyone willing to lend a hand to me? hai

Things to do...

Things to do:
- finish my ASM
- start reading up
- preparing for notes
- preparing to stop work
- re-engerize for exam
- send sir on my answers (if possible)
- stop slacking and get on to work
- STOP WATCHING ANIME!!!

My favorite song right now:

Title: I'm Yours
Artist: Jason Mraz

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
Ah, la peaceful melodys
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

There's no need to complicate
Coz our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours


P.S. i love you...

18 days and counting down

18 more days to the first exam and i cant believe that i have yet to start any of more readings or preparation. Slacky these days and no one to blame to but myself. given a dateline to finish my report last week but i gave yet to start any and not to say about my preparation. finally when i was prepared to give my best and planning to plan my work, i was down with food poisoning. hai. not to say that i was supposed to be in orchard for my jap class, have to skip one more lesson hai.

time flies and is the second half of the year and not to say that exams are coming. hai hope to do well this term to make up for last term and to pull up my results to get 2/1. but all these have a price to pay and not by saying only. so hope i have the strength and put in effort to the exam. how i wish i can be like my cousin -in -laws, who got A for every module and i dunno how he manage to do it despite having a job and family to look after. really 佩服. and congrats to him for having a baby boy. born on mon i think.

What i have done last week and this half week:
- Finish watching absolute boyfriend (ぜったいかれし ）, vampire knight
- Bought my first online products
- Slack for a week
- Spent $50 ++ in NTUC
- Watch movie (Kungfu Panda)
- clear my table

hai wat an achievement =p

Happy Anniversary!

Met up with dear yesterday to celebrate our anniversary. long time never celebrate and kind of looking forward to it. met him after my class which happens to be the last day of school before closing for exam break. went to PS to catch a show: Kungfu Panda. know it is a very old show but both of us still want to watch it cos received good reviews from frens. Not bad and quite funny haha. had a good laugh. after that just went window shopping and i bought a pair of slippers. nice colors as chosen by dear. he had a good taste after working in Robinson =p

dear surprise me by bringing me to couple lab and bought couple ring. cos he feel tat the old one like it said is already old and the design kind of faded, so it's time to get a new one. i treat the ring as one of the gifts for our 6th year anniversary (ya awaiting many more gifts to come haha). ya is very long. 6 years and i guess not a lot of people knew we had been very long. haha. but time had proved to us that we had withstand all obstacles . so happy love u muacks.

so we went window shopping, playing mario karts, shop at john little, daiso, couple lab. dinner went to ichiban sushi and the food was quite nice, filling and affordable. will try it again =)

Tuesday blues

I just went for a haircut just now, trim my hair and cut more layers but my mum still think that it’s still long haha. Thought of cutting hair becos the weather is too hot, hair too heavy and I want to cut some hair to reduce my burden. Just like what they say: 三千烦恼思. Too many problems these days; with projects, homework, studying, work and relationship hai.

These days I dunno is becos I have been piling my feelings or I have changed or what. Hai feel so lost and isolated and no one to turn to but what to do. Forget it and get on with life. How they treat me I just bear with it. Things I hate most is being taken for granted and seems like a fool. Want to backstab or what say in front of me dun show me two side of you. You expect me to help you and when I need your help you turn your back against me, is it the way you ought to do? I’m sick of acting in front of you. Why cant I be the way I want to be. Just what you want me to do. I will try to learn to be smart and not be manipulated by you anymore. I’ve been truthful to you and this is what I get in the end, then fine. I got nothing to say and I will go with the flow then.

Now have to rush my assignment as I heard that one of my fren has completed her work and that’s so fast. Hai I have not do anything at all and I’m worried and panicking but nothing seems to go the way I wanted. Just what is happening to me, I’m lost hai. Been very tired these days and tends to get sleepy, perhaps my body is reaching its limit to my busy schedule hai. Didn’t even have the time to recover nor relax at all. Nothing seems to be helpful. Hai. Please give me more time and strength to get thru this period of time, though it may drag to year end.
The more I want the thing to do it my way, the worse it stray away from the course. What the hell hai.

Exams in 1 month’s time and I have done nothing,
AND I hope HISTORY WONT REPEAT ITSELF ANYMORE!!!

BYE TO HISTORY!!!

random thoughts

long time nevr blog le but first

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HUAI EN AND ENG HOW!!!

wish that you are stay happy and healthy and all your wishes come true!

=)

recently have been thinking alot about numbers.

Yes numbers, what do you think of numbers?
In my view, numbers show a no. of things like:
- money $$$
- age
- results
- weight
- seat no
- bus no and many more.

Think the numbers that revolve around me that are so sensitive are weight and results haha.

Well weight, everyone hope to be slim and have the weight they yearn for, well so do i, but just that i need to slim down, must exercise hah. Results for exams all that are also important as they indicated how well you perform, but no doubt, results that are bad does not mean that you never put in effort, but also becos of luck, on the paper and the cohort of the group taking the same exam. Well i got my results for last term and i fail one module Market research by 2 marks and tat piss me alot that's why i sound like tat. haha, dun want to think that i never put effort but true enough, i really didnt put in alot effort and that indeed impact and affect me alot hai.

but now trying to get over and have project to do and i dun seems to be getting anywhere. hai, and i quaarel with bf with things that i dun wan to talk about it.

i know it is my fault to lie, but telling you the truth didnt make me feel better and why cant u understand. hai tell you the truth you dun like, dun tell you and it makes me guilty, so is it really true that i should straight to your face.

Sorry is all i can say now and hope that u accept my sincere apologies.

sorry.

2 months to exams

Exams in two month and have yet to prepare for it and have to do a project this term. hope that i can just buck up and excel in everything i do. i dun wan the history to repeat itself nor i want to have the same feeling again. hai

One page write up is due tomolo and have yet to start have to start soon. recently, things arent getting the way i wanted and i'm pissed with everything. why all these things happen to me? Physical and mental strength are weakening and i dunno what i can do to boost it and definitely not going to let it drop till 0 too. hai. Project, results for last term, jap, uni, jlpt and work are piling up that i cant breathe.Is like i'm carrying tons of burden that is 1000 times than my strength and on the verge of been crushed to death by them hai. someone help pls.

きょからがんばります！

Bad Start

F**k, ealry in the morning quarrel with my mum. I should have go to work instead of staying at home to do my research. Every time stay with her alone at home nothing good will come out, alway end up quarrel as usual. She think she is so big ah, always just know how to say me all tat, bias towards the other two sis. Say she bias she always say where got. Bloody hell, just faking on things that you did for them and denying it. What have you done for me? Nothing, i only when i need $ very desperately for fees all that then i find you other than that what have i ask from you.

Always say my attitude sucks wat about yourself. my attitude and character is all been brought up by you or else why they say like father like son, like mother like daughter. only know how to praise yourself, you really think you know it all? You dun even know what i like or dislike about food. so simple thing you also dunno, whereas sis all tat wat they like all tat you know. This two years, only buy clothes during new year time or sometime only yet you keep saying i buy alot. Go see all the cousins around my age and then define your alot. Always say they are they, wat about me, i am who i am, why you keep using your damn old and traditional thinking to judge me. Go ask anyone who would lend them the jacket or accessories that their bf buy to mother and sister. I may be selfish but wat about you, did you think wat you do is right ma? Asking people to lend their bf's gift to their siblings is that the right thing to do also.

Just becos of a jacket and you quarrel with me and say i side my bf, go think wat you say does it make sense ma. i just treasure things he buy and you are all out to insult me all tat. even if i end up with him or not in the future is my problem, even if future have to stay with his parents all that also my problem, why you care so much. If you really care, you wont insult me at all be it you very angry or wat.

Say wat only ring and necklace cant be borrow out, what kind of crap is this, only this two cant borrow out, then borrow out all others can ah. Bet you also never share things with your siblings too and now expect me to do. what the hell.

How i wish i can be in those drama, or come from rich family, stay by my own or study overseas without you being around, just give me allowance and all those monetary can le, dun need your care and concern, seem so worthless....

20 May 08

Just had a 3 days break but it seems that i haven been doing things that i ought to do. Have an assignment module this term and i have yet to find the company that i want to do and we have to submit the company chosen this week. Wanted to wait for lecturer to tell us the information before doing it but i guess it's hard and maybe will be good to do it before the announcement, at least have a headstart on what is going to happen hai.

This whole week will be only 2 modules inter-related and be taught by the same lecturer. hai. hopefully everything will turn out well and i will have motivation to study since i always have motivation to work haha. suppose to go work one but call office and no one pick up and i feel that when i go there will be late and wont be able to work long so cross out the mind of going in today hehe.

Exams in 2 months' time and i dunno what i have been studying, everything seem alien to me and i hope that i will grab hold of this alien's module and do well. When exam dates are close, it will also mean that the last term's result will be out soon. perhaps this few weeks and i do not want to receive it as i was covered with fear of not able to perform well due to my depression and last min studies. of cos, dun hope that the history will NOT repeat itself.

Busy busy and only leave 1 month of lectures and tutorials le. hope to maximise all my understanding! That's all for now.

Lots of thing has happened recently.

- Spent a bomb on 3 face products at body shop; spent $100 plus (+ mum's mother day gift)
- Wasted one week of break
- Started my jap class after 1 week break (got retain sob sob =( )
- Got my pay for the month (all 3)
- Got paid by govt
- Bought a $60+ textbook (so far the most ex textbook i bought)
- Chat with dear very long on the phone till wee hours
- Have not study what i learn for the 3 weeks of uni lessons
- Recovered from flu
- Went to eat Shokudo with jap frens
- Take various of bus to reach school from office
- Been extremely tired this week
- Finally mange to get hold of 恋空漫画1
- Waste a bomb on cab today (even took the most ex taxi starting @ $3.20. wth)
- Slimming down (haha hoping for more)
- Cook for the family on labor day (when mum is not around)
- Read thru the notes that i have photocopy
- Read and listen thru the jap conversation book that i have bought
- Starting to prepare for prep course for jap and starting soon for uni (hope will pass all last term's exam)
- Wash my pencil case, cloth and all

All this to start anew for a brand new life; more healthy, more well manage schedule and of cos happier life!

=) looking forward!

End of April

Very fast is already month end and it means that i'm getting my pay and going to spend it! Ya spend it for transport, pay off my bills and cpf and left nothing else not even saving. hai. this has been going on for a year( since i start my uni) and i have been thinking if i have done the right thing of studyin full time instead of part time as part time not only got monthly salary that can save and spend but also gradually pay off the uni fee which my frens are doing. So by the end of the uni, they will have to just pay back to their parents perhaps few thousand remaining and nothing else, but for me, is another case.. I have calculated, by the end of my uni, i will have an outstanding of perhaps SGD $25,000! and maybe more as my parent loan me the money and have to pay hai.

Whatever i'm earning now is to meet my daily needs and monthly needs for payments and NOT saving hai. Alot to write always but when it comes to typing, it tires me out... Tons of things to say yet type only few para hai. next time i should really buy a PDA or Tablet PC so i can treat it as writing rather than typing. feel like i love writing than typing.

Tomolo will be 3rd week of school and kind of still slacking which i shouldnt do it yet i did, hai. Seems to be breaking promise set for myself , and forgeting the bad memory that i did not wan to repeat again. Mind is turning slow, memory is failing and i hate myself this way. Memory becoming damn short, cant remenber wat i say 30 seconds ago. hai maybe need to check my brain see if any problems. hai.

Going to pay for nearly 600 plus of money on jap, for both pre advance and jlpt preparatory course. but with my brain like that, started to worry hai. dunno just let the nature takes its course.

been very tired recently, perhaps that my sat has been burn since i went back to work at the bookshop and i have to not only manage 3 jobs but 2 studies as well, leaving little time for myself hai. hope that i can plan my time well and relax. actually feel less stress compare with last week so should be a good sign, have to buck up and do my best.

getting tired of typing, signing off then.

Jya ne

Start of the new month: April

Just went to see one of my ex classmate's blog. Though she and i are not that close but feel happy for her as she has just uploaded her new born baby's photo so cute really happy for her and congratulations to her and her baby.

Time flies, today is already the second day of April. and if i'm able to go japan with my jap frens, i think i have already reach there yesterday afternoon le. sob sob... miss the chance, so sad. hai.

After exam my life hasn't change much as before and i think i will be more busy as i got another job, at where my aunt is working at the clinic and the doctor is my family doctor! Quite funny and confused feelings cos i have been the doc's patient and now becomes his staff haha. not bad quite fun for the first day on mon. colleagues are friendly and helpful though only 2 of them plus 1 is my cousin really can learn alot so ok, i think is better than f&b cos f&bno doubt you will be exposed to interacting with cust, but nth more is learn other than that, unless you are the in charge or cashiering all that. so no offends to those working in f&b industry cos i work before too, just my view towards it now.

What bothers me now is my bookshop job, dun feel like going back to work cos:
1. pay too low
2. lot of things to do
3. dun think will get pay rise
4. need to work long hours then more pay
5. boss seems to be stingy lately haha

above are 5 big reasons that i dun wan to work there, but working there also got its ' good, i get to know more things abt early childhood, time is flexible and relaxing when no cust around. but it seems like cant weigh over the bads haha so hai confused. dunno how to reject the offer then is good. thought of workin for her on sat but i feel that i wont be able to have time to study and i just hope can pass for all exam taken earlier this week cos i dun wan the same old bad memory and habits reviving again hai. hence have to plan well.

decided this is wat i am going to do after my 2 weeks break and when new term starts.
here goes:
Mon to fri mornings - work for uncle
Mon to fri afternoon - school time (follow most unchanged schedule)
Mon, Wed and fri nites - clinic
if plus bookshop then sat - bookshop
SUN - JAP CLASS

again my week are fully packed and i'm desperate for $$$. hai

trying to save up to buy DS and money for my sept trip (though unplan) with poly frens but becos they work full time coughin out few hundreds will be much easier than me who earns barely to meet my monthly ends =(

Sleeping soon... tata

oyasumi nasai

1 more exam to go...

Left mon's exam which is econ the one with the highest FAILURE rate!!! Though this time they have change the format but i think the diffculty will still be there bah. Well since the lecturer not happy with the failure rate doesnt mean she wont reduce the standard haha.

Format has change to 20 mcq and 2 essay qn instead of 3 essay which may be good. but it may be bad too cos it may mean that the essay may be tougher and here i am still slacking omg....

Other exams are killer and i really hope can pass can le. cos this time i'm totally prepare for it ans during the break to study before for exam, i think i'm suffering from depression, maybe due to over stress and i can read a chapter or any one of my module including marketin(which i hate) for 3 hrs and writing notes for it worse 4 to 5 hr for ONLY ONE CHAPTER!!! how to finish studyin?

First paper: marketing -> dead cos went into the hall brain dead and wat i remenber to mixed up and i forget totally. really hope just pass happy le. hai

Second paper: Resource planning -> manage to finish studying and came out what i study but i forget some -_-'' hai manage to do and finish same hope to pass too.

Third paper (yesterday): - > DEFINITELY THE ONE I HOPE TO PASS BADLY COS I STUDY ALOT OF THE TOPIC AND IT DIDNT CAME OUT. WTF. we do some prediction feel tat those that came up recently wont came out and will came out those long time never came out one but we are WRONG!!!!

INSTEAD IT CAME OUT THOSE THAT HAVE CAME UP LAST TERM AND I NEVER STUDY ONE!!!! WTH.

And when i see the qn, my brain went blank cos nth seems to be familiar one as i didnt study one all came out. only 1 which i only read thru came out and i manage to do it but not good enough and the other one i glance thru before cos is a calculation plus theory so i thought if the calculation can get the marks why not although is only 30 marks and 70 marks for theory. So kind of lucky cos the theory is more to the pros and cons then i use wat i can think of to back up lo hai.

Never feel so lost and so last min studying and writing notes too omg. hope next term wont happen. guess i really overstress and too intense. all these cause me to suffer and having headach and all sickness at one go oh my....

exam be gone fast be gone....

or i will be the one be gone.....

1 week before first exam

Exactly 1 week before exam, not prepare and still slacking...

what the hell...

oh god, PLEASE help ME!!!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

One year older again and time flies, was still thinking how to celebrate my bday cos last year didnt celebrate becos fall during CNY that period but this year is not good either as it falls on weekday and it's a monday blues.

Suppose to be sleeping now but becos i have to submit a tutorial by 6 am later, have to rush it as i have been dragging it too long and hence now have to sacrifice my sleeping time to make up for not doing it earlier. hai. sad sad. just hope that this tutorial will score well though the marks is not part of the module just want to do well haha.

Result for the other 2 modules are out and i'm really not pleased with my QMM (statistics) thought can get A but got B and is a JUST B. OMG, dunno wat happen, perhaps they have make the bell shaped curve so narrow as alot who got As are High A and quite a few fail or just pass. And the Most Annoying thing is that we cant review the paper even if we are willing to pay for the viewing. WTF. Thinking of that just piss me off and i have been feeling demotivated ever since i knew cant review even though i pass. Just bu gan xin. Even my OD i short of 1 mark i'm not even this fed-up. MUST COMPLAINT but no one is supporting, all those who initially wanted have sort of given up. hai WHY?

alot of thing to blog but i guess i will update it again when i free...

Got to zzz le as later i got to wake up at 7. What the hell. HELP!!!

New Year Week...

Today is the 4th day of chinese new year. suppose to go to work but then stomach not well so didnt go and stay at home. want to do my 5 essays and jap hw but not motivated hai. been playing psp (cousin lend me) and watchin online anime. so this is how an afternoon is wasted in my hands not to mention last week when i was having study break. worse still nothing has accomplished!!! need to rush. hai

1 has to send to fren to edit on 15 so die die must finish cos it is tutorial qn and have to submit on 18th (mon). so basically can say all must be done by this week.

receive terina (uni ) and jiayi (best fren since sec sch)'s present. Terina gave me a small square glass bottle filled with chocolate eggs and jiayi gave me kino voucher (which i request or else maybe hippo again haha. cos i'm a crazy fan of hippo). this way not only i can buy the jap book i want and also the money will be well used. Anyway, thanks gal.

V day and birthday is coming has yet to plan what to do on these two days cos fall on weekday so kind of hard to meet up with dear cos he is studyin while i'm working hai. not expecting much lah cos no energy to plan haha. as u know i'm not the creative kind but i expect ppl to do creative things for me wahaha. so hard on dear.

hongbaos didnt receive alot cos didnt go visitin due to some reasons and then i think this is the only time when all of the cousins are gathered together to do things together. (cos we go visitng in a big grp every year yeah!) enjoy that kind of visiting cos only that time feel that it is really new year.

These few years feel that that is no longer much atmosphere in the air to announce that it is new year time. only chinatown feels the atmosphere, while my area seems like normal day nothing special. hai. 越来越没气氛.

最近, 情绪很不好动不动就发脾气. 难为了dear. 在这对你说声对不起. 或许作业做完后就不会再经经常发起脾气.

很多事总是想写下可是一要写的时候总是想缩短,快写完就好.总比没写好.哈哈!

晚安.　　おやすみなさい。

1 more week to Chinese New Year!

Have not been feeling well these few days, either got flu if not is sore throat and dry cough making me easily irritated and pissed off cos new year coming and now i in this condition definitely will not enjoy the new year goodies moreover eat them haha.

Went out with Uni fren today for the first time (apart from first clubbing), quite a nice experience and went to fish and co for lunch. food is nice and just nice, plus we got discount too so can say worth it and each pay $15 for mussels, seafood platter and sambal fish.

After that we went to Zara and taka to shop, follow by centrepoint as serene want to change shirt, and after that went home quite tiring as today's lesson the course book is heavy hai, shoulder nearly break haha but still manage the pain till get home.

This evening is also my saddest day as i got 2 of my module results for last term ok i should say cos i only expect pass cos 1 module have to do 3 but i only do 2 due to leak of time so hopefully can pass and it did so ok loh at least no Donkey (D) for this term. Keeping my finger cross for the other 2 module.

VEry tired these days and feel like a zombie due to lack of sleep and feel tired easily plus now holiday 'season' keep on shopping and never go work make myself even slacky and turning more to zombie wahaha.

Die alot of things to do but done nothing hai.

sleeping soon i hope.... (Lazy to elaborate anymore haha)

Sian Sian

Haven been blogging for almost two weeks, busy as usual. Mon to fri - study and work after that. sat went to work bookshop and sun suppose to have a break but i have jap lesson and is at afternoon but quite fun though the sensei is the senior teacher and look very fierce.

Initially not very used to her teaching cos very strict and she want us to speak in full sentence and with polite, not those like you talk to fren hah. so not used and initially she want us to think fast but come to think of it is a good thing to do and now manage to cope with it and get to know how her style is though sometime i am still lost in her sentence have to ask fren. Luckily my fren sittin beside me is an expert haha.

Very tired nowadays cos not able to rest all that plus full of thing everyday and dun even have time to train then how to slim down haha. hai a tough thing to do hai. want to stop work but hard.

These days i'm angry with my parents cos they dun allow me to go japan with my jap fren during april. hai borrow money from them also cant have to stuck in singapore again. they that time go australia and i didnt go now i wan to go also cant hai.

Fri meet ai zai gang out to celebrate keng's birthday @ kbox cineleisure. Buy their karaoke plus buffet package about 40 bucks each pax but they charge less haha and also quite fun meeting them again. Plus boon is also there to join us since he MIA for a long time so good to have him back to the gang haha.

After that we went to starbuck at wisma to have a catch up and they intend to go on holiday just like last year but this time is going to either thailand, taiwan or hongkong but yet to confirm cos keng dun wan to go thailand, shari dun wan to go taiwan cos she is going in april with company so hard haha. i suggest japan but expensive. haha. out of point so now dunno. hope that this time will be able to go. looking forward.

Suppose to do research for my econ now but come blogging haha. now have to do and do a good job since i request from lecturer that i hand in tomolo instead of last thurs. haha.

ganbate!

2008 Plans

One week of 2008 has past and this will be my first blog. Haven been blogging alot as been too busy these days. Work everyday and now even sun are taken up (jap class starts again), dun even have the time to rest moreover dating haha. Just meet my poly's fren to celebrate andy's b'day. Quite fun, ate at manhanttan (andy's paying, dunno why and he say he treat), then went to eat Hokkaido ice cream which i thought was hearto haha make a mistake. Later went to TCC for a chat. Finally get together cos ah boon dunno how long have been MIA has finally join us haha. Nice outing hehe.

Have yet to plan what to accomplish for 2008 but have give a rough thought though haha. Here goes:

- To slim down wahaha
- To study even harder so that can aim to the honors i want
- To earn more $$$ to meet ends (if possible win lottery)
- To remenber things better (poor memory these days)
- To be able to have more fashion sense
- To be able to do more things with dear
- To control my temper more
- To have better skin
- To be better in japanese
- To be able to go holiday (possible japan or hongkong)
- To have more free time
- To clear as much debts as possible
- Hope to move house and have a room of my own (not within my control though)

Things to buy/ do:
- specs
- DS lite or PSP
- Do braces
- Do facial at affordable rate

I suppose that is what i want for the time being. My motto is " SAY OUT MUST DO IF NOT DUN SAY AT ALL!"

Btw, i was suppose to promote my fren blog as she is selling online clothes. Do have a look and i think her clothes are trendy and not that expensive.

Her blog is: ladykirei.blogspot.com (Pls have a look!)

Now have to struggle to do my report, due on monday. sob sob hai tata

Signing out...